do anything.... she is a very talented young lady. But the thing I've always loved most about my firstborn is that she didn't know she was different than any other kid. She thought every kid her age could ride a two-wheeler bike when they were 2 years old (thanks to Denise). But lately, she is starting to realize that she is extraordinary and is getting a borderline superiority complex. I know it's because of school, dance and church teachers who praise her incessantly. She getting her first taste of adults besides her parents thinking she is fabulous. I want her to know she is special but not feel prideful and superior. I want her to feel confident but not arrogant. I don't know how to do this... but the good news is she still thinks I'm fabulous which allows for some pretty cool conversations. I guess as long as she is still talking and sharing things with me we still have a shot.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Hannah Canna
do anything.... she is a very talented young lady. But the thing I've always loved most about my firstborn is that she didn't know she was different than any other kid. She thought every kid her age could ride a two-wheeler bike when they were 2 years old (thanks to Denise). But lately, she is starting to realize that she is extraordinary and is getting a borderline superiority complex. I know it's because of school, dance and church teachers who praise her incessantly. She getting her first taste of adults besides her parents thinking she is fabulous. I want her to know she is special but not feel prideful and superior. I want her to feel confident but not arrogant. I don't know how to do this... but the good news is she still thinks I'm fabulous which allows for some pretty cool conversations. I guess as long as she is still talking and sharing things with me we still have a shot.
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4 comments:
Good luck with that and if you figure it out let me know. The only thing I can think of is focusing teaching Divine Nature. If they know who they really are maybe it would make them more grounded. But what do I know, My only daughter is 5.
We have worked on this with our kids. They are all very capable, but it is really important to me that they don't think that this capacity makes them better than anyone else.
So we talk about it. A lot.
We talk about knowing who you are and that Heavenly Father loves everyone (whether they get A's or not).
We talk about strategies for dealing with success so that we can be happy without making anyone else feel bad.
For example, when you get a good grade, rather than running around telling everyone you got a good grade, you just smile and say that you did okay (or you are happy with your grade). Then no matter what your grade (good or bad), you can feel good without making anyone else feel bad.
I think this is the key. Thinking about the other person and how they will feel. And getting your kids to think about it too.
That is great advice Denise. I know a girl who is extremely smart and talented but she has a really hard time making friends. I think the biggest reason for this is because she makes others feel inferior. I don't think this is her intention but it still comes across that way. She's smart, she knows she smart, and she wants everyone else to know it too.
On the flip side, one of my kids (I won't mention names) has a tendency to brag whenever he does well at something. I use to think this was because he did think he was better than everybody else. But I am coming to realize that it is because he has a low self image.
In either situation the focus is more on "me" and less on others. Learning that building others up is true success is the key.
I'm sure I can find some self-help book out there on this topic if anyone wants me to read it and then, unasked, share with everyone what I've read..... :-)
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