(New & Improved Version) As I was responding to Hilary's blog entry about scrap booking, I started thinking about how we (and maybe it's just me so from here on out instead of assuming it's you too, I'll refer to me) all have an over-achiever's complex. I seem to think that I should be able to do everything and be everything when it comes to anything motherly, wifely, or womanly. I look at what someone else has done or is doing and think to myself, "I should do that," or "I need to make time for that" or "If I was a good mom, wife or woman, I would do that." But why do I think this way? I am truly warped! I know that all women are different and have different strengths and I would never want any of you to look at something I do and feel bad that you're not doing it. So why do I continue to rake myself over the coals because I should be doing something that I'm not. Do I think I'm a super-human? Of course not! When I think through it instead of letting my super-hero, over-achiever self kick-in, I know that I'm on the right track- I know that my day is well-rounded and that by the time I fall into bed, I have done my best at every role I play in some one's life. And I am very secure- I know I'm capable, smart, worthwhile and let's not forget HOT! (I know I say this last part jokingly, but I really do look in the mirror and think I'm one good-looking chick- from the waist up). So I'm making a goal to be okay with my so whats.... I'm committing to not think I'm superwoman. Here are some of my so whats- feel free to share yours- it's therapeutic to say it out loud.
So what if I don't scrapbook- I have all the digital photos printed each year and place them in a numbered photo album chronologically. (This is what got me thinking)
So what if I don't cut coupons or belong to any grocery guru club. I shop for my family and make an effort to provide healthy snack choices for my kids and cook dinner almost every night.
So what if I don't refinish furniture or constantly think of ways to decorate my house. I take care of what I have and try to save for something new each year.
So what if I don't go to the gym everyday. I try to make good food choices and stay active.
So what if I'm not eloquent or diplomatic. I always make time for my friends and try to serve them. (This one sounded a little arrogant when I added the so what so I changed it a little.)
So what I don't sew, quilt, or crochet. I know how so when I do want to do those things, I can.
These are only a few- you get the idea. I'm going to try this the next time I feel like I'm not doing enough.
Missing NoCal
10 years ago
8 comments:
I like this post Amy, but...I don't like the phase "At Least" because it makes it sound like what we do is the very least (or littlest) thing that can count for something.
I don't know what the right phrase it...but do you get what I'm saying?
It should almost be a list of so whats?
So what if I don't scrapbook?
So what if I don't cut coupons?
So what?
So nothing.
You know you're great, and you're living without regret. What more can you ask for?
I mean, so often we try things because we think we should be doing rather than doing them because we want to, or because we like to.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
But I will add to your list.
So what if I am not a size two? I like myself and my husband likes me too!
So what if my house looks like it was hit by a tornado? It's clean underneath all the clutter, and if you come on Saturday after we are done with chores, you will see a REALLY clean, shiny house (that stays that way about 30 minutes).
So what if we don't have any new furniture or if most of the rooms in our house are empty? We have a nice, big house and it just makes more room for the kids to run around.
I'll add more if they come to me.
Miss you.
It's all about priorities. I probably put scrapbooking above my kids at times.
And let's remember as far as kids go, I only have 2. :)
Amy, I think you're an uber-talented woman, I've always looked up to you. It's hard not to have your "scorecard" -- I get it though. :)
I didn't change this because I thought "So what if Denise is better with words..." No- really. I changed this because she was right. And I love that one of us can come up with an idea and the other can tweak it a little to make it better. That is after all one of the reasons why we have friends, right? To inspire us, to make us think, to appreciate and to increase our own capacity and learning. I'm thinking I'm smart because I have such smart friends! Good thing they cornered me at the Green Pines Condos mailbox and didn't go with their first impression. Thanks Neecee!
You just put the refinish furniture in there because you were at my house yesterday!
Amy, you are the last person on earth that I think would need a boost of self-confidence. I don't say that because I think you're full of yourself - you just know yourself and your talents and abilities.
I always say - we all have our talents, some of ours are just more apparent than others because we cook, sew, keep a clean house, etc. (I definitely don't keep a clean house!).
I personally can't stand it when people ask me why I got so many talents and they didn't. I have worked very hard to develop the ones I am good at now, and it didn't come naturally. I know there are many times I ignore the important things in life to be a little selfish and do something for myself - but we all do what we need to do!
Love ya!
That's so funny.
I was just thinking about my very first memory of you, walking across the parking lot to get mail.
I had already me Ed and he was really nice, and so I said hi to you.
To say that you were grumpy might be TOO NICE. But, you were also uber pregnant and already had Hannah.
But we perserved, and now I have the friendship of a lifetime!
I sat and sat and sat trying to think of something clever and intelligent to say.
So what if I'm not clever with words, I can usually get my point across.
So What if my house isn't spotless. I do the best I know how and that's good enough for me.
So what if some friends come and go. The ones that I have now are amazing and I don't know what I would do without them.
So what if my house is a wreck I love playing with my kids and having me time way too much and would completely lose it without it!
Ditto to what Amberlyn said.
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